To stay or to go?

I feel like I am surrounded by a shit load of stay-at-home moms.  It's like they're all mocking me.

IF Mark and I had the money, I'd stay home.  BUT the simple truth is that we enjoy the luxuries we are afforded by both of us working.  We enjoy going out to dinners and to movies and being able to buy our very fast growing daughter new clothes to fit her chubby little self and to buy ourselves things along the way, too.

But I feel like I'm looked down on as not being a good enough mother.  If I loved my daughter, I would be at home with her.  It seriously kills me to leave her every day.  Seriously.  Sunday nights I comment to Mark every week that I just hate Mondays because it's the first day I have to leave Lucy.  It's especially tough since Monday-Friday I only get to see her for about three hours a day and for those three hours she's not her most pleasant self.  So, I do struggle with that.

But I came across this article the other day, thanks to another blog I follow, and although the article is saying that working mom's aren't actually the happiest type of mom (despite the title of the article), it's also saying that neither are the stay-at-homes.

The closing statement is what really hits home for me:

"What’s right for any family is what makes the members within it as happy and fulfilled as possible. And that’s not a one-size fits all proposition. But the idea that both work and parenting – especially in combination – can contribute to a woman’s mental and physical health is as good an excuse as any for a general moratorium on the whole ridiculous “mommy wars” meme. We don’t have to be in opposite camps, guilt-tripping each other and over-justifying our life choices. We’re complicated beings and the things that satisfy us are diverse. They’re our children and our careers, our earning power and our rocking version of “Itsy Bitsy Spider.” Nobody said it was easy. But maybe if you want to have it all, a good place to start is by doing it all."


So, stop trying to justify your choice.  Working mom's aren't better than stay-at-home moms and stay-at-home moms, face it, you aren't superior.  The simple answer is that we are all doing what we are doing because it's the right choice for ourselves and our families.  


The right choice for me and my family is that I go to work.  Lucy is able to be home with Daddy all day and she gets to spend time with Melissa and Patrick for an hour or two a day.  She is making friends, she is getting daddy time, she is learning to socialize.  Seriously, our schedule couldn't be more perfect for us.  And I think it's the best for Lucy, too. No more judging, either.  If we don't judge, there is no reason to justify.  It's not easy being a mom or choosing what you think is best.. because how do we know?


And just because I think our schedule rock for us,
doesn't mean I wouldn't like to be home with her.