Monday, May 17, 2010

Forever young

My Uncle Danny gave the perfect eulogy at Grandma's funeral.  I felt it only absolutely necessary that I share it with you... just to give you a little insight about my wonderful, beautiful, amazing grandma.
"Welcome to everyone. Thank you for coming today. 
The first thing our Mom would ask all of you all of you here... What about your jobs? Are you missing your work??  Everyone else always came first in her life. 
I know this day will be hard for us, but let's try not to be "sad". Our Mom and Grandma was not fond of our being "sad" and she would loathe the thought of her being the subject of our being "sad." 
So let's try and focus on that old cliché of "celebrating and remembering" her life today. The subject of Mom's eulogy came up this last Monday evening when I had the pleasure of having dinner with Dad, Mom's sisters Gert and Kitty, Peggy, Erin and Nicky. The subject of the eulogy came up precisely because Patty sent Peggy a text message.  
The dinner girls then embarked on a spirited discussion regarding a eulogy and its definition. Thanks to Nicky and technology, Nicky was able to use his phone to Google the definition.  We found that the proper definition of a eulogy is, "a spoken or written tribute that highly praises or commends someone. Synonyms included: acclimation, exaltation, praise and homage.  
It was decided that honor of giving this eulogy would be bestowed on me.  So, I set out to write a eulogy for our mom that would or could somehow be worthy of her. When I really started to reflect on it I realized that, by its own definition, our mom delivered eulogies to everyone everyday. 
Then, in a well timed discussion with Erin, she suggested that our Dad, each of Mom's kids (which include Erin, Royce and Susan) and each of Mom's Grandkids be included in the honor of speaking about her. I thought it was a great idea and we decided that I would ask my Dad, my sisters, my brother, each of my mom's grandchildren, Erin, Royce and Susan what their favorite memory was of Mom and/or Grandma. I am going to share those memories with you today, verbatim, with some right of edit: 
Dad: I called Dad to get his thoughts and we quickly concluded that Mom was the Best. The best wife, the best mother, the best grandmother, the best friend, the best. I convinced Dad that that was not a memory and he told me he just had so many. So we decided his best memory was 55 Years. That kind of says it all. What better memory could there be? 
Peggy: Being the oldest child, I had a hard time coming up with just one memory. I remember Mom wearing a dress made of recycled paper for a new year's eve bash Mom and Dad threw in Woodland...it was in the 60's. I remember Mom knitting us woolen mittens for the Minnesota winters, I remember Mom following airport cabs to National Airport to pick up Dad (when we moved to Washington that girl from Iron River had a tough time with directions). I remember when Robby was born Mom telling me, and I quote, "The nurse handed him to me, only an hour old, our eyes met, and we bonded". (That was Mom) I remember her singing her school song at the Iron River High School reunion every year. I remember Mom always saying "we have to do what Peggy says". 
Robby:  My fondest memories with Grandma were all the trips home to Iron River. Seeing where she grew up, her friends and family. She was always the happiest in Wisconsin. Also, the grandkids could always rely on Grandma to have Double Mint gum in her purse...we loved that.  
Patty:  My favorite memory is Mom singing and dancing to "Jeremiah was a Bullfrog" when the song was popular with those herky, jerky arms of hers. She was a much smoother dancer when she danced with Dad. 
Royce:  Every time Mom had dinner at our house, without fail, she would get up and say, "That was the best meal I ever had".  
Emily:  Although there are many memories I love of Grandma, all of which show her spunk and incredible personality, my favorite is of her dancing at my wedding. The reason I chose this memory is because it is how I will always remember her. She was having so much fun, laughing and shakin' a leg. She got to dance with Mark, and even with Grandpa. Her dancing with Grandpa is something we all loved to watch throughout the years. I'll never forget her smile that night.  
Mallory:  One of my favorite memories of Grandma is when we would leave church on Sundays and she would stand in the middle of the parking lot and direct traffic so that we could get through to our car. I thought she was  hilarious. She would also take us to McDonald's after church and get each of us our own Happy Meal.  
Greg:  My memory of Grandma that I remember most and love the most is her dancing at Emily and Mark's wedding. She left her beer with Grandpa and hit the floor all by herself and just enjoyed the evening the best she knew how. Or, this past Easter where even though she was weak, she still ate four or five plates of food and had a bottle of beer to go with it. 
Timmy:  My fondest memory of Mom was her high school reunion a few years ago when all of her kids and grandkids made the journey to Wisconsin to be with her. She was in all her glory. I never saw her more proud. 
Susan:  My favorite memory of Mom was her interest in the Theater. She cultivated a love of the arts through the cultural experiences she afforded her children and  grandchildren by taking them each in turn to a special show. My particular favorite was Ragtime. I also recall being pregnant with Katie, feeling depressed because of the way I looked. Mom invited me to go see a play and then took me to the Willard Hotel for lunch. It was all so grand. I was in heaven because of the special attention Mom gave me at a time I really needed it. That's how thoughtful she was. 
Anna:  I remember all the times we would go to Grandmas to order Chinese Food and eat it while watching and playing Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. 
Katie:  I remember at Emily's wedding, Grandma danced better that anyone else on the dance floor.  
Erin:   I remember how Mom never missed the occasion to send a card. Be it birthdays, 1st communions, graduations or anniversaries. In the card she would always double or triple underscore the sentiments she felt strongly about...she wanted to make sure that you knew you were special. It was common for her to also enclose a separate typed prayer, blessing or words to live by. The special one she sent me was the "Old Irish Greeting." It went: 
             These things I warmly wish for you
             Someone to love
             Some work to do
             A bit of sun
             A bit of cheer
             And a guardian angel always near. 
Joey:   My favorite memory of Grandma is how every time anyone, but me personally, would walk into any place and see Grandma. She would always come up and greet me with a big hug, and kiss on the cheek followed by a "look at my beautiful baby boy!" I am going to miss her for all of the memories not just this one. Grandma, may the wind always be at your back, the sun upon your face and may the wings of destiny carry you aloft to dance with a star.
Nicky:   The one thing that I remember most about Grandma was how she ended every letter or  card she sent to us. XOXO. It was like a defining sign off for her. She loved all of us so much and made it known every time we saw her. Every time it was either "God Love      Ya!" or XOXO. I remember she even had a pin that had XOXO. There was just something about it that makes me think of Grandma. Whenever I see XOXO for the rest of my life, I will think of Grandma.
Now for memy memory of Mom will, I think, tie everyone's memories together. My favorite memory of our Mom is how she loved to love 
I want to share with you, in no particular order, the things I think she loved most: 
Mom loved Iron River
She loved my Grandma, her Mama, Gert, Kitty and heck, she loved Uncle George.
She loved The Brule River
She loved The Blueberry Festival
She loved Blueberry's
She loved Marching in the Blueberry Festival Parade and singing her high school song
She loved Mary Lagesse, her best friend from childhood
She really loved Moon Lake 
She loved her coffee-not the fancy stuff, just good coffee.
She loved to read.  She was an avid reader because of her quest for knowledge.
She loved to learn and her life long learning classes.
She loved Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.
She loved t o work. She often told us, "If you want anything done right, do it yourself"
She loved her friends (especially Barbara, Shirley and Steve)
She loved to eat. (and every meal was "The best she ever had")
She loved The Theater
She loved  Her Cadillac
She loved Johnny Carson (She called him her brother)
She loved the "other" Frank... Sinatra
She loved to dance (but only with "The" Frank... Demeria)
She loved to blow a kiss!
She loved life...and was full of it. 
With the tenacity of a mother grizzly, she loved her kids (she included Erin, Royce and Susan as her kids), her grandkids, her sisters, and most of all... you Dad. 
Fittingly, I think these memories's serve as a tribute to our Mom. These memories provided by the people she loved the most portray her for what she was. She onetime told me she did not care for eulogies. I know she meant she was bothered by the sadness that everyone feels when a eulogy is delivered. As I said earlier, Mom was not a fan of sadness for the people she loved, so let's try and honor her with a smile.  I know we will all miss her, but heaven will be an even better place with her there. Right now, she is looking out over this congregation wondering why you all took the time to come here for her, but her appreciation is unparralled and I will guarantee she is saying: 
'I am drinking from my saucer
Cause my cup has overflowed.'
So, with a smile on her face, Mom says not goodbye, but I will see you later. 
*Blow a Kiss*"
Amazing. Just like Grandma.

1 comment:

  1. AnonymousMay 18, 2010

    Emily, Thank you so much for posting this. It is beautiful and just perfect. I wish Tom and I could have been there. Love you, Pat

    ReplyDelete